Writetober 2024, Horror Haven: Day 2: A Vampire's Guide to.. Modern Life

Vlad had always been a creature of the night. The moon, the darkness, the silence—they were his comfort! But since the dawn of the new millennium, Vlad found himself in a world that was... well, a bit too bright and noisy for his liking. Despite this, he still attempted to blend in.

His first attempt at blending in was a disaster. First, he tried to go to a new, bustling, coffee shop. ..But the overbearing chatter and the hums of the espresso machine sent him into a sensory overload. He accidentally turned a barista into a gargoyle when she accidentally spilled a latte on him.

Next, he tried the grocery store. The fluorescent lights burned his skin, and the pure mass of product was overwhelming. He'd once dined on the blood of knights, but now he was faced with the choice between organic or non-organic kale.

“Maybe I should go for a banana," he muttered, reaching for a ripe one. As he peeled it (not realizing you have to pay for groceries), a squeaky noise echoed through the aisle. A toddler burst into tears. Vlad, mortified, put the banana back, despite it feeling as harsh as parchment due to his calloused grip.

Vlad's final attempt was a trip to a local park. He foolishly thought the fresh air and the natural environment would be a welcome change from the hustle and bustle of other areas of the world. But then a group of children had started playing tag, their laughter and shouts echoing through the park. He'd tried to ignore them, but their energy had been too much for him. He'd accidentally turned a tree into a vampire oak when he tried to scare them away.

Later in the day, as Vlad sat in his coffin, nursing his sun-induced burn, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe modern life just wasn't for him. Perhaps he was better off in his dark, quiet castle after all.

written by Zoe